Companion video: Same Or Different? Blocks to Perceiving Change
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Notice what’s different, not what’s the same
When we work with new clients – especially those with pains
… they expect us to use the same pain scale ( 1 to 10 ) measurement
… that other modalities do.
And of course, we don’t.
We simply ask: “Same or Different?”
Sometimes, clients don’t answer using our terms .. not out of disrespect, but due to their own speech patterns.
We want to know if the client has experienced any perception of a shift – the one that just took place.
We hear instead, variations of:
- I’m a little better
- it changed a little
- it’s about a “6” now (when we didn’t suggest that scale)
Hmmm. So, intuit / think the word “perception” … and likely it “goes weak“.. But, where do we go from here?
We know a shift took place.. that something is blocking the client… and we want to stay neutral and not unnaturally badger / force the client into answering “same or different?” when they’re not ready.
So, the open ended question (to ourselves):
“where is it (their block) coming from …
to notice and answer “same or different?”
When the client doesn’t respond “same” or “different” (to our prompts).. and offer phrases like “a little better” .. we need to find the blocking weakness, shift/change the clients’ energy – so their neutral state allows them to notice more fully perceive & answer.
From a practitioner point of view, we can’t have some “chip” on OUR shoulder about clients’ answering our questions.. If so, this means we’re not NEUTRAL in some way … and need to figure out why.
So, it’s always the open-ended question: “what’s blocking them?”
Here Comes The Judg(ment)
“A little bit” .. is a judgment, so we switch to the < judgment – criticism – blaming > … triad.. We can simply clear the whole triad silently or we can intuit which element is weakest… (let’s say “criticism” goes weakest in the triad). We strengthen the weakest one, then the triad as a whole (in a general way)..
We could also combine numerical profiling as part of the conversation/strengthening…
You: “Let’s see, that’s one of about (intuit) … 500,000 criticisms – affecting you (intuit) trillions of percent.” (delete)
“OK, what are you noticing now? Same or different?” (again)
… and, the second time, the client still ignores your “same or different” choices …
So, there may be many threads to pull on… here…
Often, the energy blocking perception is a
more abstract or general level issue (i.e. simpler)
Here are a handful of possibilities…
The client may have:
1) “stubbornness” energy
2)“(won’t) follow directions/instructions”.. energy…
3) deception weakness (won’t answer questions directly)
4) general “questioning” weakness
a) “testing” weakness – and client may have bothers around testing others or being tested
b) (I already have) too many un-answered questions (don’t ask!)
5) accusation weakness (question triggers accusation)
6) weakness to “same” or “different” words
(don’t just go through a session “by rote” … YOUR words may be triggering THEM)
7) asking questions … is like … be(little)ing them .. condescending energy
8 ) forcing client to CHOOSE… (same/different) and choices .. goes weak
9) question triggers “interrogation”
If one of the 8 above “goes weak”, we strengthen it at a high level. We can also posit a question to the client (slight tangent with humor)... let’s say it’s #4..
Short snippet of a possible session exchange between client & practitioner
You: “You (client) seem to ask a lot of questions… yes?”
Client: Yes, I do.
You: “But, (intuit) you don’t like it when others asking you questions, or (intuit) answering questions, do you?”
“What I get is … you get (intuit) frustrated and a “little” angry when someone asks you a question and … (intuit) wants an immediate answer… You have experiences like that?”
(let them tell you a short story and use that as a lasso to clear ALL experiences & thoughts like that… and go down that clearing path)
You: “… OK, that’s ( clients’) one (story) of (intuit) 500,000 things that bother you about questions… let’s clear those experiences and get you neutral to (intuit) questions in general, not just answering or asking, but just ALL question(s)…
Seems like any question – is triggering “I already have too many unanswered questions, I don’t want one more” energy…”
“How about now, same or different? .. about anyone asking you questions.. ”
Client: It’s different. I don’t care about questions..anymore
You: “OK, now, let’s go back – how’s your shoulder? same or different?”
It’s worth going through these few extra steps, since “questioning” may be a deeper clearing than an individuals’ shoulder pain they presented to us & the clients’ energy immediately changes their behavior in the session and session will go better.
Remember, too, the energy of the behavior could come FROM YOU… towards them… There can be many layers that influence anyone from perceiving changes.